Archive | June, 2011

Mommy & Me

21 Jun

My mom is quite the character. I feel I need to share with the world some of her quirkiness. Enjoy.

* I told her I saw Hangover II and that it was more or less the same plot as the first one, just in Bangkok this time. “Oh…because of the play on words?” she asked. No mom…and don’t make me think about you saying ‘cock’ ever again.

* One time, I went to my parents house after work. I got there to find my mother (who should have still been working) sitting on the couch in her pajamas, holding an ice pack to her cheek. “Mom…what happened?” I asked. I was hoping for a good bar fight story for a second before remembering this was my almost 60-year-old mother who hasn’t sauntered into a drinking establishment since at least 9 months prior to my birth in 1983. Still, I was expecting a decent story, since something had obviously happened and I hadn’t gotten a frantic phone call. “Oh you know, I just decided to make an appointment to get that molar extracted and didn’t want to make anyone worry, so I didn’t tell anyone. It does hurt a lot now though. They told me they were supposed to put me under anesthesia, but since I went alone they could only use Novocaine. So I basically felt the whole thing. I’m fine though.” She then proceeded to tell me that she “hadn’t thought about” the fact that she wouldn’t be able to eat for at least a day after this ordeal and had only eaten a yogurt all day. Way to plan ahead, Mom.
Lessons learned here: If you are having oral surgery, you need to plan a decent ‘Last Supper’ (which in my case would totally include ice cream, fried chicken, and nachos- don’t judge me- it could be days before the pain subsides!), and also a DD for when the doctor knocks your fat ass out.

Advertisements